In this blog you will learn more about us than you ever wanted to know. Get comfortable.
My mind is spinning with ideas about where to start. I think it will be most clear if I start where I am now and fill in the holes as we go. My husband and I are trying to start a family. We planned to be pregnant sometime around January of 2012. It doesn't sound like we have been trying for very long (1 year, 7 months--in case you were counting), but it feels like a very long time.
"The Lord is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation; this is my God and I will praise him, my father's God, and I will exalt him." Exodus 15:2
I have been blessed whenever I have turned to the Lord. I have leaned on the Lord more and more as we have pursued this dream. God has made it clear in my heart and Chad's that we will have a family, and he has taken us on a journey. As time passes, it becomes more clear to me why we have had such a strong desire for this for so long.
My husband, Chad, was born with Cystic Fibrosis and did not expect to live to see his twenties. He will be 31 years-old in December. Praise God! He has undergone two double-lung transplants and is now strong and healthy. God is so good.
We got married 7 months after his second double-lung transplant. After dating for 4 years before we were married, we felt like we were ready to add children to our family. (We have two pups--Ally and Dusty--but, that's not quite the same.)
Cystic Fibrosis can cause a man to be infertile, but we were hopeful. After several months, I started to do online research about other couples who had Cystic Fibrosis and were going through the same things we were. I found out that the disease can block the vas deferens, making it impossible for sperm to get through. While this sounds discouraging, we were surprised to discover that viable sperm could still be living in the testes. The good news was that in vitro fertilization (IVF) could be a possibility. The next step was a sperm test. We waited anxiously, but we were not optimistic.
Chad's tests came back. They found no sperm in the first test and very little sperm in the second test. What they did find was not moving. Many people would be discouraged, but we were optimistic because some sperm had found its way out! (Too much info? Tough.)
Meanwhile, throughout this whole process, we started to get to know God more. We were reading and praying. We found a church that we love!! We prayed fervently for God to work a miracle in our lives. We went to a healing service which was very refreshing. The Bible is full of God's promises about healing and being fruitful. I just knew it was only a matter of time before we were going to be pregnant the "old-fashioned way." So we waited . . .
After meeting with the first fertility doctor, Chad tried to schedule a biopsy (They take sperm from the testes with a needle--sorry guys for being so blunt.), but the office where they do the procedure was having a hard time getting Chad's charts from Duke and would not call us back. We took it as a sign to continue waiting. I was not very comfortable with the idea of IVF anyway. I wanted to wait and see God work a miracle in our lives. I started to wonder why God was having us wait so long when he could give us a baby so easily. I didn't understand. Over time and after a lot of prayer, I have started to understand.
I am only going to speak for myself here and let Chad interject whenever he wants. I have just started growing in my relationship with God. I have just started giving my plans over to Him; however, He has always been with me. Anything I needed, He has provided. Knowing that He has provided for my every need and many of my wants made me start thinking that there was something more to waiting than what we could see. So, I told God that I would continue to wait until He told us to move.
We started to see a different fertility doctor, hoping for some different doors to open. He sat with us for two hours, heard our story, and gave his professional advice. He encouraged us to use a sperm donor. He did not expect that Chad's sperm would be healthy because of the medications he has been taking his whole life. He did not think IVF was going to be a plausible option for us. I was very discouraged. The idea of a sperm donor did not sit well with me. I could easily see that involving another man in our family was not in God's plan. The always optimistic Chad tried again to schedule a biopsy and had more luck this time. He has undergone the pre-op appointment and we are waiting for the biopsy appointment. His optimism has rubbed off on me and I am excited to see the results.
Looking for more information, I met one of my teacher friends for coffee last spring to talk about her experiences. She is a Christian who has just had her first child through IVF and I wanted to understand the process better from a personal perspective. I told her that I was uncomfortable with fertilizing embryos and not using them. (Couples who do IVF fertilize as many eggs as possible so that they can have a better chance of having a baby and having embryos for future siblings. Many times the couple has all of the children they want to have and they still have embryos left over. They are left to decide what to do with these children in their first stages of life. Many times they are given up to research or they sit on a shelf). She mentioned that she donated her embryos to a couple that wanted to have their own children but couldn't. I was so surprised and relieved that this was a possibility. I only thought about it in terms of what we could do with our extra embryos that we were not going to use. I didn't think any more about it. Suddenly, about a month ago, I realized that we could be parents of adopted embryos. It honestly came to me basically out of nowhere, so I believe it had to be God. I started to do online research like a fiend. We love the idea of being able to adopt and be pregnant with our adopted children.
We are still waiting for Chad's biopsy. He wants to know whether or not there is a possibility of him having his own, biological children. I support him. He has spent his life thinking he wouldn't even make it this far. It would be amazing if he could have his own children; however, I know we will spend a lot of time in discussion and prayer if we find out that he has viable sperm, trying to understand the next step that God wants us to take.
So, here we are, still waiting. But, now we have more understanding and we are more encouraged than we were at the beginning of this journey. I will continue to dream and prepare for the family that I know God has planned for us.
My mind is spinning with ideas about where to start. I think it will be most clear if I start where I am now and fill in the holes as we go. My husband and I are trying to start a family. We planned to be pregnant sometime around January of 2012. It doesn't sound like we have been trying for very long (1 year, 7 months--in case you were counting), but it feels like a very long time.
"The Lord is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation; this is my God and I will praise him, my father's God, and I will exalt him." Exodus 15:2
I have been blessed whenever I have turned to the Lord. I have leaned on the Lord more and more as we have pursued this dream. God has made it clear in my heart and Chad's that we will have a family, and he has taken us on a journey. As time passes, it becomes more clear to me why we have had such a strong desire for this for so long.
My husband, Chad, was born with Cystic Fibrosis and did not expect to live to see his twenties. He will be 31 years-old in December. Praise God! He has undergone two double-lung transplants and is now strong and healthy. God is so good.
We got married 7 months after his second double-lung transplant. After dating for 4 years before we were married, we felt like we were ready to add children to our family. (We have two pups--Ally and Dusty--but, that's not quite the same.)
Cystic Fibrosis can cause a man to be infertile, but we were hopeful. After several months, I started to do online research about other couples who had Cystic Fibrosis and were going through the same things we were. I found out that the disease can block the vas deferens, making it impossible for sperm to get through. While this sounds discouraging, we were surprised to discover that viable sperm could still be living in the testes. The good news was that in vitro fertilization (IVF) could be a possibility. The next step was a sperm test. We waited anxiously, but we were not optimistic.
Chad's tests came back. They found no sperm in the first test and very little sperm in the second test. What they did find was not moving. Many people would be discouraged, but we were optimistic because some sperm had found its way out! (Too much info? Tough.)
Meanwhile, throughout this whole process, we started to get to know God more. We were reading and praying. We found a church that we love!! We prayed fervently for God to work a miracle in our lives. We went to a healing service which was very refreshing. The Bible is full of God's promises about healing and being fruitful. I just knew it was only a matter of time before we were going to be pregnant the "old-fashioned way." So we waited . . .
After meeting with the first fertility doctor, Chad tried to schedule a biopsy (They take sperm from the testes with a needle--sorry guys for being so blunt.), but the office where they do the procedure was having a hard time getting Chad's charts from Duke and would not call us back. We took it as a sign to continue waiting. I was not very comfortable with the idea of IVF anyway. I wanted to wait and see God work a miracle in our lives. I started to wonder why God was having us wait so long when he could give us a baby so easily. I didn't understand. Over time and after a lot of prayer, I have started to understand.
I am only going to speak for myself here and let Chad interject whenever he wants. I have just started growing in my relationship with God. I have just started giving my plans over to Him; however, He has always been with me. Anything I needed, He has provided. Knowing that He has provided for my every need and many of my wants made me start thinking that there was something more to waiting than what we could see. So, I told God that I would continue to wait until He told us to move.
We started to see a different fertility doctor, hoping for some different doors to open. He sat with us for two hours, heard our story, and gave his professional advice. He encouraged us to use a sperm donor. He did not expect that Chad's sperm would be healthy because of the medications he has been taking his whole life. He did not think IVF was going to be a plausible option for us. I was very discouraged. The idea of a sperm donor did not sit well with me. I could easily see that involving another man in our family was not in God's plan. The always optimistic Chad tried again to schedule a biopsy and had more luck this time. He has undergone the pre-op appointment and we are waiting for the biopsy appointment. His optimism has rubbed off on me and I am excited to see the results.
Looking for more information, I met one of my teacher friends for coffee last spring to talk about her experiences. She is a Christian who has just had her first child through IVF and I wanted to understand the process better from a personal perspective. I told her that I was uncomfortable with fertilizing embryos and not using them. (Couples who do IVF fertilize as many eggs as possible so that they can have a better chance of having a baby and having embryos for future siblings. Many times the couple has all of the children they want to have and they still have embryos left over. They are left to decide what to do with these children in their first stages of life. Many times they are given up to research or they sit on a shelf). She mentioned that she donated her embryos to a couple that wanted to have their own children but couldn't. I was so surprised and relieved that this was a possibility. I only thought about it in terms of what we could do with our extra embryos that we were not going to use. I didn't think any more about it. Suddenly, about a month ago, I realized that we could be parents of adopted embryos. It honestly came to me basically out of nowhere, so I believe it had to be God. I started to do online research like a fiend. We love the idea of being able to adopt and be pregnant with our adopted children.
We are still waiting for Chad's biopsy. He wants to know whether or not there is a possibility of him having his own, biological children. I support him. He has spent his life thinking he wouldn't even make it this far. It would be amazing if he could have his own children; however, I know we will spend a lot of time in discussion and prayer if we find out that he has viable sperm, trying to understand the next step that God wants us to take.
So, here we are, still waiting. But, now we have more understanding and we are more encouraged than we were at the beginning of this journey. I will continue to dream and prepare for the family that I know God has planned for us.
Lauren, thank you so much for sharing your journey so far. Your faith and trust in God given such an emotional situation is beyond touching and commendable. No matter how your child comes to be, it will be a miracle, a joy, a blessing, and done by the hand of God. We love you so much!
ReplyDeleteLauren, I know this was difficult for you and Chad, I support you and your decisions whatever they may be because I know they are based on prayer and thoughtful discussions with our Lord. He will answer and guide you. I know it. I love you with all my heart. Aunt Mabel
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