Hi friend!
(*Wink* to my close family that knows about Lincoln's game of "Hi, friend!"--He gets two like things together--race cars, monster trucks, whatever--and has them just chat with each other, always starting the conversation with "Hi, friend!")
I have been away for a while, but I am so excited to get back into regular life. It's been four months since Levi's birth and I have only faced 5:30 am accidentally and resentfully since then. Tuesday I decided to start doing it on purpose! Starting the day early is so much better than stumbling out of bed and crashing right into the thick of the morning--diapers, breakfast, "Hi, friend!" . . . cold coffee.
I am starting to feel normal again. I know some other mommas, and dads too, can relate to those first few months with baby. Whew, right?! A blur! A wonderfully soft, snuggly, kissable, stinky, poopy, goopy blur! But, suddenly the fog starts lifting. Levi has moved to his crib and is doing a little sleep-training. Touchy subject! But, let me tell you, he needed it. He would wake up many times for comfort and letting him learn to self-soothe honestly hasn't been that bad. When we tried this with Lincoln he got super AMPED and would be red-faced, snotty, screaming. Momma couldn't take it! But, I think we are starting earlier with Levi and he's a different baby. He does a little fussing, starts talking to himself, and then pretty much goes off to sleep. It's good for everyone. He's learning how to be okay in the crib and Momma and Daddy are starting to see the ZZZs at the end of the tunnel. I was scared to start it, but so glad we have.
I've come to blog because I have missed connecting with y'all. You must be wondering what this Leviathan thing is all about. God urged me into a better understanding of His character over the last few days and I wanted to touch base here about it. I love feedback! So, please comment if you can relate or if you have something extra to share.
As you know, I've been reading in Job and struggling. I get so sad for Job and don't understand how God could let all of these bad things happen to him. If this could happen to Job, a man who was doing all of the right things, why couldn't it happen to me? But, I kept reading and kept asking for understanding. God kept reminding me that of course I deserve all the heartache Job got and more because of the sin in my life, but He has spared me from that because of the work that Jesus did on the cross. Thank you, Jesus!
But, what really stood out on Tuesday and deepened my understanding of God's character in a profound way was when I started reading Job chapter 39. Chapter 39, verse 17 says, "because God has made her forget wisdom and given her no share in understanding." (emphasis mine). He talks about the lack of understanding of these animals, the ostrich in particular, who leaves her young to whatever circumstance without her protection simply because she does not know any better than to do so. As humans, we have more understanding than the ostrich or animals in general. And that understanding is a gift from God, but is still limited. God's understanding is absolutely complete! This idea was a huge revelation to me over these last few days. He knows everything about all there is to know.
Today I read the 41st chapter of Job when God talks about Leviathan. Leviathan is a huge and powerful beast. No one can tame this creature except God. God illustrates that He is able to make Leviathan a pet for Himself if He wishes: "Will you play with him as with a bird or will you put him on a leash for your girls?" Job 41:5 God goes on to describe how He can do whatever He wants with this enormous, unconquerable beast. I started to think about the things in my life that seem to be unconquerable.
What is my Leviathan? I can answer that question fast: illness. Yes, Chad and I have been through many trials and come out healthy. Thank you, God! But, I'm not being transparent if I don't say that it always lurks at the back of my mind, calling me to doubt all that God has already done. And I have to expand beyond just Chad's illness. For me, it is illnesses of those I love and myself that threaten my confidence. Sickness is huge, and at times seemingly insurmountable. There are facets of illness that we as humans cannot understand, making them even more scary. Just like Leviathan is terrifying: "Who can open the doors of his face? Around his teeth is terror. His back is made of rows of shields, shut up closely as with a seal" (Job 41:14-15) the things in this world that threaten us and we don't understand become terrifying.
God, in His quiet way, reminded me that He has complete knowledge and complete dominion. He lacks nothing, He needs nothing. And I can be confident that, because of Jesus's sacrifice on the cross, He will always work for my good. All the Leviathans in my life bend to God's will. What a loving Father to pull me close and quiet my anxious heart.
What are your Leviathans? If you're comfortable to do so, start a conversation here. I bet some others are facing those same fears. Know that it is not beyond God's understanding or God's ability to handle. Love y'all! I hope to see you again real soon!
(*Wink* to my close family that knows about Lincoln's game of "Hi, friend!"--He gets two like things together--race cars, monster trucks, whatever--and has them just chat with each other, always starting the conversation with "Hi, friend!")
I have been away for a while, but I am so excited to get back into regular life. It's been four months since Levi's birth and I have only faced 5:30 am accidentally and resentfully since then. Tuesday I decided to start doing it on purpose! Starting the day early is so much better than stumbling out of bed and crashing right into the thick of the morning--diapers, breakfast, "Hi, friend!" . . . cold coffee.
I am starting to feel normal again. I know some other mommas, and dads too, can relate to those first few months with baby. Whew, right?! A blur! A wonderfully soft, snuggly, kissable, stinky, poopy, goopy blur! But, suddenly the fog starts lifting. Levi has moved to his crib and is doing a little sleep-training. Touchy subject! But, let me tell you, he needed it. He would wake up many times for comfort and letting him learn to self-soothe honestly hasn't been that bad. When we tried this with Lincoln he got super AMPED and would be red-faced, snotty, screaming. Momma couldn't take it! But, I think we are starting earlier with Levi and he's a different baby. He does a little fussing, starts talking to himself, and then pretty much goes off to sleep. It's good for everyone. He's learning how to be okay in the crib and Momma and Daddy are starting to see the ZZZs at the end of the tunnel. I was scared to start it, but so glad we have.
I've come to blog because I have missed connecting with y'all. You must be wondering what this Leviathan thing is all about. God urged me into a better understanding of His character over the last few days and I wanted to touch base here about it. I love feedback! So, please comment if you can relate or if you have something extra to share.
As you know, I've been reading in Job and struggling. I get so sad for Job and don't understand how God could let all of these bad things happen to him. If this could happen to Job, a man who was doing all of the right things, why couldn't it happen to me? But, I kept reading and kept asking for understanding. God kept reminding me that of course I deserve all the heartache Job got and more because of the sin in my life, but He has spared me from that because of the work that Jesus did on the cross. Thank you, Jesus!
But, what really stood out on Tuesday and deepened my understanding of God's character in a profound way was when I started reading Job chapter 39. Chapter 39, verse 17 says, "because God has made her forget wisdom and given her no share in understanding." (emphasis mine). He talks about the lack of understanding of these animals, the ostrich in particular, who leaves her young to whatever circumstance without her protection simply because she does not know any better than to do so. As humans, we have more understanding than the ostrich or animals in general. And that understanding is a gift from God, but is still limited. God's understanding is absolutely complete! This idea was a huge revelation to me over these last few days. He knows everything about all there is to know.
Today I read the 41st chapter of Job when God talks about Leviathan. Leviathan is a huge and powerful beast. No one can tame this creature except God. God illustrates that He is able to make Leviathan a pet for Himself if He wishes: "Will you play with him as with a bird or will you put him on a leash for your girls?" Job 41:5 God goes on to describe how He can do whatever He wants with this enormous, unconquerable beast. I started to think about the things in my life that seem to be unconquerable.
What is my Leviathan? I can answer that question fast: illness. Yes, Chad and I have been through many trials and come out healthy. Thank you, God! But, I'm not being transparent if I don't say that it always lurks at the back of my mind, calling me to doubt all that God has already done. And I have to expand beyond just Chad's illness. For me, it is illnesses of those I love and myself that threaten my confidence. Sickness is huge, and at times seemingly insurmountable. There are facets of illness that we as humans cannot understand, making them even more scary. Just like Leviathan is terrifying: "Who can open the doors of his face? Around his teeth is terror. His back is made of rows of shields, shut up closely as with a seal" (Job 41:14-15) the things in this world that threaten us and we don't understand become terrifying.
God, in His quiet way, reminded me that He has complete knowledge and complete dominion. He lacks nothing, He needs nothing. And I can be confident that, because of Jesus's sacrifice on the cross, He will always work for my good. All the Leviathans in my life bend to God's will. What a loving Father to pull me close and quiet my anxious heart.
What are your Leviathans? If you're comfortable to do so, start a conversation here. I bet some others are facing those same fears. Know that it is not beyond God's understanding or God's ability to handle. Love y'all! I hope to see you again real soon!
Comments
Post a Comment