I have been trying to find some time to touch base with you here for about three weeks. I just deleted two drafts I have started and this is one from about two weeks ago that I'm coming in to expand on. Whew! I'm happy to be here.
Do you spend a lot of time looking back? Sometimes I do. Little ones grow up so fast, don't they? God made them to be little for only a short period of time. I find comfort in the fact that this is the way He designed it. And it is good. I don't think I could keep this pace for the rest of my life, but the time is so precious. Thankfully, I did and still do enjoy every moment, every snuggle, every coo, every sleepy yawn. But, one of my babies is a "big boy" now and the other one will soon follow. And that is a good thing. Momma's heart is just so fragile.
Do you spend a lot of time looking back? Sometimes I do. Little ones grow up so fast, don't they? God made them to be little for only a short period of time. I find comfort in the fact that this is the way He designed it. And it is good. I don't think I could keep this pace for the rest of my life, but the time is so precious. Thankfully, I did and still do enjoy every moment, every snuggle, every coo, every sleepy yawn. But, one of my babies is a "big boy" now and the other one will soon follow. And that is a good thing. Momma's heart is just so fragile.
Sometimes God gradually changes our surroundings: for example, children growing older. It's almost imperceptible until you look back at pictures. Other times, the change in our lives is drastic almost suddenly. I've been reflecting on the last year and so much changed this time last year. Suddenly, Chad had to go into the hospital for treatment, then the blood clot, then back on the list. Everything happened so quickly. And there was a lot of wondering: How did this happen? What did we do wrong?
God's word reassures us:
"See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland."
In times like this, it is hard to trust God. What seems good to us, may not be good at all. But, He is trustworthy and faithful. I do not always know how He is working in each of these circumstances, but I can trust that He is working and none of it catches Him off-guard. His word says, "do you not perceive it?" He knows that the reader may struggle with realizing that God is working in this "wilderness" or "wasteland."
I love that this is a safe place for me to be honest and lay it all out, to share what my "wilderness" is right now. Chad has recently started treatment due to an unexplained decrease in his small airways. This was news that we weren't expecting. At first, it hit pretty hard. He will receive treatment, photopheresis, twice a week for 12 weeks. They will reevaluate at that time and decide how often he needs it after that, but it is expected to go on indefinitely. I don't even want to voice that prognosis because I know God is more powerful than any of it. But, this is where we are right now.
When I first learned about this, I pictured our whole life being turned upside-down. Moving, getting a job, putting the kids in daycare. But, God is dealing tenderly with us during this time. Chad is able to continue working through all of this. He has had very minor side effects--mainly just tired the day or so following the treatment, and he is going to travel to Duke weekly for his appointments. My mind wants to travel further down the road, but God warns us not to do that and assures us that He is in every moment now and in the future:
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you." Isaiah 43:2
I am thankful that I can rest in His peace and His power over all of our moments, even the messiest ones.
Speaking of messy, we have been potty training for the past three days and I have spent a lot of time putting together puzzles, playing "Hi Ho Cherry-O," and the ever-popular "Hi, friends!" but not a lot of time digging deeper, reaching out, loving on others when I know that is what I am called to do. Honestly, I've been tuning out and retreating--enjoying being holed-up in the house with Big Boy Potty Pants, which is unlike me. I think it's time to press "restart" after vacation. Anyone else feel like they press "restart" every other week?
Today is a new day. We can finally rejoin civilization and see how to go out and about with a new potty trainee. I am so proud of my little man. I know God is working in all of my circumstances. Just when things seem like they are going in the wrong direction--according to our own plans--I am reminded that He is "doing a new thing." Have a great Wednesday!
In times like this, it is hard to trust God. What seems good to us, may not be good at all. But, He is trustworthy and faithful. I do not always know how He is working in each of these circumstances, but I can trust that He is working and none of it catches Him off-guard. His word says, "do you not perceive it?" He knows that the reader may struggle with realizing that God is working in this "wilderness" or "wasteland."
I love that this is a safe place for me to be honest and lay it all out, to share what my "wilderness" is right now. Chad has recently started treatment due to an unexplained decrease in his small airways. This was news that we weren't expecting. At first, it hit pretty hard. He will receive treatment, photopheresis, twice a week for 12 weeks. They will reevaluate at that time and decide how often he needs it after that, but it is expected to go on indefinitely. I don't even want to voice that prognosis because I know God is more powerful than any of it. But, this is where we are right now.
When I first learned about this, I pictured our whole life being turned upside-down. Moving, getting a job, putting the kids in daycare. But, God is dealing tenderly with us during this time. Chad is able to continue working through all of this. He has had very minor side effects--mainly just tired the day or so following the treatment, and he is going to travel to Duke weekly for his appointments. My mind wants to travel further down the road, but God warns us not to do that and assures us that He is in every moment now and in the future:
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you." Isaiah 43:2
I am thankful that I can rest in His peace and His power over all of our moments, even the messiest ones.
Speaking of messy, we have been potty training for the past three days and I have spent a lot of time putting together puzzles, playing "Hi Ho Cherry-O," and the ever-popular "Hi, friends!" but not a lot of time digging deeper, reaching out, loving on others when I know that is what I am called to do. Honestly, I've been tuning out and retreating--enjoying being holed-up in the house with Big Boy Potty Pants, which is unlike me. I think it's time to press "restart" after vacation. Anyone else feel like they press "restart" every other week?
Today is a new day. We can finally rejoin civilization and see how to go out and about with a new potty trainee. I am so proud of my little man. I know God is working in all of my circumstances. Just when things seem like they are going in the wrong direction--according to our own plans--I am reminded that He is "doing a new thing." Have a great Wednesday!
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