I am so narrow-minded. I look around and see life the way it is right now. This baby is on the way and he is reminding me that the way life looks now is not the way it will always be. Busy days are ahead and so much fun and love too. But, I sometimes let feelings of sadness creep in, realizing that these are the last few months of just Linc, Daddy, and I.
Us moms all have these moments where we straddle the line between holding on to life the way it is right now and wanting it to change immediately, right? The kids are so small we don't want them to grow up or they are too small and we'd love for them to be more independent. Every stage comes with its joys and its challenges. But, I definitely try to soak it up. I don't like to read the posts on Facebook that tell me this might be the last time I pick up my child or every time I put him to bed, he wakes up a day older. That's ok! I have enjoyed every day as it comes. If you hold on to what you have right now, you can't make room for the joys that are to come. Know there will be challenges too. Of course there will. There are challenges now! And they will be different.
This particular season for me has been full of mixed emotions. Chad is healing and well! That is amazing and miraculous! For so long we didn't know what the future held for us and it was scary. Oh, but wait! We still don't know what the future holds. Really, it's an enjoy every moment as it comes kind of life. Here's something you might not want to think about, but you don't know the future either. I'm sorry to get so real with you here. When people first hear our story they are fascinated and then I see the concern on their faces. Whether they say it or not, the question comes across in their eyes: "How long do you think these lungs will last?" The truth is we don't know. None of us know how long we have on this earth. Something could happen at any moment to any of us. This life is fleeting. While that sounds grim, it's a great reminder to not take today for granted. We get so stuck on the immediate here and now of this world and that is a waste of time.
"you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you out to say 'If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.'" James 4:14-15
I have been in Durham and doing a lot of resting. I have not been working hard on my business, I have not been working on the baby's room/ Lincoln's room, I have not been dealing with all of the things that will wait for me at home. I don't rest well. I get anxious and like to be busy making progress--or honestly sometimes just busy to be busy--but there has been a voice assuring me that this time is good. Time with Chad has been great and it has been missing for so long. I love whatever time we get to spend together. So, I am reminding myself to rest in knowing that I am where I need to be. Those tasks will be there when I get home.
Of course we have to plan. The Bible tells us how: "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that." Always checking in with God, staying connected so that we know that we are not wasting our time on something that isn't worth it.
Here's a glimpse at one of my favorite moments. We've been enjoying a lot of mommy/ son dates lately as Chad has been in the hospital and even at this point, he can't be out in public with a lot of people yet. I treasure this one-on-one time and look forward to when Chad can join us. Our son is such a little man, full of joy and love. This was taken while we were on our way down to Durham for Chad's birthday, stopping for a quick lunch. At this time, the car is packed to the max, including dogs and Pearl's cupcakes! Linc couldn't wait to see Daddy for the first time since Thanksgiving Day! He was so happy to see him and has been loving time with Daddy ever since.
Us moms all have these moments where we straddle the line between holding on to life the way it is right now and wanting it to change immediately, right? The kids are so small we don't want them to grow up or they are too small and we'd love for them to be more independent. Every stage comes with its joys and its challenges. But, I definitely try to soak it up. I don't like to read the posts on Facebook that tell me this might be the last time I pick up my child or every time I put him to bed, he wakes up a day older. That's ok! I have enjoyed every day as it comes. If you hold on to what you have right now, you can't make room for the joys that are to come. Know there will be challenges too. Of course there will. There are challenges now! And they will be different.
This particular season for me has been full of mixed emotions. Chad is healing and well! That is amazing and miraculous! For so long we didn't know what the future held for us and it was scary. Oh, but wait! We still don't know what the future holds. Really, it's an enjoy every moment as it comes kind of life. Here's something you might not want to think about, but you don't know the future either. I'm sorry to get so real with you here. When people first hear our story they are fascinated and then I see the concern on their faces. Whether they say it or not, the question comes across in their eyes: "How long do you think these lungs will last?" The truth is we don't know. None of us know how long we have on this earth. Something could happen at any moment to any of us. This life is fleeting. While that sounds grim, it's a great reminder to not take today for granted. We get so stuck on the immediate here and now of this world and that is a waste of time.
"you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you out to say 'If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.'" James 4:14-15
I have been in Durham and doing a lot of resting. I have not been working hard on my business, I have not been working on the baby's room/ Lincoln's room, I have not been dealing with all of the things that will wait for me at home. I don't rest well. I get anxious and like to be busy making progress--or honestly sometimes just busy to be busy--but there has been a voice assuring me that this time is good. Time with Chad has been great and it has been missing for so long. I love whatever time we get to spend together. So, I am reminding myself to rest in knowing that I am where I need to be. Those tasks will be there when I get home.
Of course we have to plan. The Bible tells us how: "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that." Always checking in with God, staying connected so that we know that we are not wasting our time on something that isn't worth it.
Here's a glimpse at one of my favorite moments. We've been enjoying a lot of mommy/ son dates lately as Chad has been in the hospital and even at this point, he can't be out in public with a lot of people yet. I treasure this one-on-one time and look forward to when Chad can join us. Our son is such a little man, full of joy and love. This was taken while we were on our way down to Durham for Chad's birthday, stopping for a quick lunch. At this time, the car is packed to the max, including dogs and Pearl's cupcakes! Linc couldn't wait to see Daddy for the first time since Thanksgiving Day! He was so happy to see him and has been loving time with Daddy ever since.
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