Another season is coming. I will be leaving Durham tomorrow and most likely not returning before the baby comes. Chad will be coming home soon and life will resume back at home. I am ecstatic! We have been in kind of a cocoon down here while Chad gets stronger and stronger. I want to say life has been put on hold, but then I have to check and remind myself that this is part of our life. This is part of our journey. I am so humbled by all that God has trusted me with and where He has taken us. All we can do is live our best life, be so thankful, and continue to share how great our God is!! We are changed. We may not feel like a butterfly, but God has worked in our lives and changed us in a way that is undeniable.
We cannot go forward being afraid--constant theme in my blog entries, right? We know that the enemy is always introducing doubt in our minds. I have to catch myself and screen my thoughts--I wrote about that last time. I want to take a second to plug a devotional that has been right on point for me: My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. It's very clear and it has been so applicable to my life every time I read it. Yesterday was about something I'm sure we all struggle with: "is this God or is this me?" For example, I was kind of hesitant to take Lincoln to the indoor playground at the mall yesterday because I was nervous about the other kids being sick. I had to examine these thoughts and decide if it was from God or from me. It came down to examining the emotion itself--was it a level-headed warning, or a fear that was spiraling out of control. I realized it was a fear and reminded myself that God does not give me a spirit of fear.
Our life is not meant to be lived cowering and waiting for the "next shoe to drop." God did not give us this opportunity so that we remain constantly anxious. I catch myself many times from thinking about Chad's patterns of sickness and predicting what will happen in the future. God is strong enough and will give us the time that He has planned for us. Anxiety only robs us of joy and strength right now.
In case you haven't picked up on this yet. I have an enemy. I have waged a war! Prize goes to the first person who knows my enemy . . . Ok, I know you all got it by now. It's FEAR and all of his cronies: anxiety, worry, doubt.
I like to think that our journey as a family has provided others with hope and encouragement when they did not see any shred of it before. Ever since we started out together, we have pursued the "impossible." We did not know if we had one year together or 50. Having Lincoln was absolutely out of the question, according to science. If you haven't read about it . . .do it now. The point is not to lift us up, but to show others that we have to take it one step at a time in this world and trust God with where we are going.
I am working on this puzzle.
We cannot go forward being afraid--constant theme in my blog entries, right? We know that the enemy is always introducing doubt in our minds. I have to catch myself and screen my thoughts--I wrote about that last time. I want to take a second to plug a devotional that has been right on point for me: My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. It's very clear and it has been so applicable to my life every time I read it. Yesterday was about something I'm sure we all struggle with: "is this God or is this me?" For example, I was kind of hesitant to take Lincoln to the indoor playground at the mall yesterday because I was nervous about the other kids being sick. I had to examine these thoughts and decide if it was from God or from me. It came down to examining the emotion itself--was it a level-headed warning, or a fear that was spiraling out of control. I realized it was a fear and reminded myself that God does not give me a spirit of fear.
Our life is not meant to be lived cowering and waiting for the "next shoe to drop." God did not give us this opportunity so that we remain constantly anxious. I catch myself many times from thinking about Chad's patterns of sickness and predicting what will happen in the future. God is strong enough and will give us the time that He has planned for us. Anxiety only robs us of joy and strength right now.
In case you haven't picked up on this yet. I have an enemy. I have waged a war! Prize goes to the first person who knows my enemy . . . Ok, I know you all got it by now. It's FEAR and all of his cronies: anxiety, worry, doubt.
I like to think that our journey as a family has provided others with hope and encouragement when they did not see any shred of it before. Ever since we started out together, we have pursued the "impossible." We did not know if we had one year together or 50. Having Lincoln was absolutely out of the question, according to science. If you haven't read about it . . .do it now. The point is not to lift us up, but to show others that we have to take it one step at a time in this world and trust God with where we are going.
I am working on this puzzle.
We are nerdos over here, absolutely love Zelda! Confession moment: we chose Lincoln's name because we liked that it, when shortened, was Link (of course ours is Linc, but the sound is the same). Anyway, as I was working last night, I was on a roll! But, I would get overwhelmed when I tried to look at the whole picture. I was most productive when I focused on the characteristics of a tiny section and its pieces. And sometimes nothing would happen. I would search and search and not make any progress. Then, I would find one piece and all the sudden the other pieces would fit into place. This may be a cheesy and obvious metaphor, but it really struck me as I was working. Any other puzzle-lovers out there? We have to take it one piece at a time, right? And know it will all come together if we just keep working.
So, one step at a time, I'm squashing fear, sometimes big ones and sometimes small ones. Sometimes it's the same fear I continue to squash over and over daily. What about you? I recommend figuring out what your enemy is. That way, you can stay focused on defeating that enemy each day and the rest of the pieces will fall into place. From here, I'm walking forth in faith into our next season: a family of four! (I should say six, we love our pups.) I still can't believe it. Thank you, God!
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