Can I adequately paint a picture of these mornings? I know there will be a day when I'll have the opportunity to glance back and remember the joy--as well as the stress--of these days. This is the music of my mornings:
"Good morning, Momma" in the sweetest little voice. "Watch TeeBee?"
Little Einsteins or Hot Wheels or Blaze and the Monster Machines on the TV
Little baby crying or cooing or grunting
Christian radio playing
Nutri-bullet blending up breakfast: "Momma, hab shake, peeees?!" Hep you!"
Thomas the train going around on his track . . . again and again. (Any other parents feel like you're keeping Energizer in business?)
Fast feet
Medela Pumping
Coffee slurp, slurp, slurp
"Momma, come in here!"
My favorite time of day has to be the morning--even with a newborn. I love a hot cup of coffee first thing. I love the promises of a fresh new day. I love when I have quiet time to meet with God.
Let me be honest--I always try to be honest here. I have heard God calling to me to put aside the distractions and come to Him. The distractions continue to call, and the less I obey God, the louder they get. I can make a ton of excuses: new baby, family needs me, all the little to-dos in the day. But, I know that my mental state suffers if I don't make that time.
When I don't have my quiet time in the morning, anxiety creeps in and stress takes over my days. I start to worry more about tomorrow than I should. I forget God's promises. I also get more irritable with those around me, those closest to me. I want to be patient, kind, understanding, calm, but end up being easily offended, snapping at my family, looking for satisfaction or escape in other things. These other things always come up short.
I know this is a season and there will come a day when all I have is quiet time. I dread those days, but I also know there will be gifts in that too. I pray that we can raise these boys to seek God. Parenting is tough, right? And a big responsibility. I remind myself that whatever they see me doing, my habits day in and day out, they are thinking that that's what they should do.
So, I'm working on engaging more and picking up the phone less. Talk about distractions! I know we are all addicted to our devices. It's honestly a compulsion. Do you do this? I pick up my phone and check my notifications without even thinking about it. Next thing I know, my mind is spinning with what I want to do and what I think I should do. Cue more anxiety--self-imposed. When I put my phone aside, I find more peace and more time.
What are your distractions? What do you want more time for?
"Good morning, Momma" in the sweetest little voice. "Watch TeeBee?"
Little Einsteins or Hot Wheels or Blaze and the Monster Machines on the TV
Little baby crying or cooing or grunting
Christian radio playing
Nutri-bullet blending up breakfast: "Momma, hab shake, peeees?!" Hep you!"
Thomas the train going around on his track . . . again and again. (Any other parents feel like you're keeping Energizer in business?)
Fast feet
Medela Pumping
Coffee slurp, slurp, slurp
"Momma, come in here!"
My favorite time of day has to be the morning--even with a newborn. I love a hot cup of coffee first thing. I love the promises of a fresh new day. I love when I have quiet time to meet with God.
Let me be honest--I always try to be honest here. I have heard God calling to me to put aside the distractions and come to Him. The distractions continue to call, and the less I obey God, the louder they get. I can make a ton of excuses: new baby, family needs me, all the little to-dos in the day. But, I know that my mental state suffers if I don't make that time.
When I don't have my quiet time in the morning, anxiety creeps in and stress takes over my days. I start to worry more about tomorrow than I should. I forget God's promises. I also get more irritable with those around me, those closest to me. I want to be patient, kind, understanding, calm, but end up being easily offended, snapping at my family, looking for satisfaction or escape in other things. These other things always come up short.
I know this is a season and there will come a day when all I have is quiet time. I dread those days, but I also know there will be gifts in that too. I pray that we can raise these boys to seek God. Parenting is tough, right? And a big responsibility. I remind myself that whatever they see me doing, my habits day in and day out, they are thinking that that's what they should do.
So, I'm working on engaging more and picking up the phone less. Talk about distractions! I know we are all addicted to our devices. It's honestly a compulsion. Do you do this? I pick up my phone and check my notifications without even thinking about it. Next thing I know, my mind is spinning with what I want to do and what I think I should do. Cue more anxiety--self-imposed. When I put my phone aside, I find more peace and more time.
What are your distractions? What do you want more time for?
The above post was ready to go, April 10th, but it didn't publish for some reason. Then, I thought more about my post and realized I wasn't being as transparent as I'd like to be. I've failed to mention that Chad has been in and out of the hospital dealing with a severe reaction to a medicine. We are working on getting it under control now, but these bumps in the road always get my wheels turning. Sometimes in a good, positive way, and sometimes I have too much time to think.
I've been praying for God to adjust my vision away from myself and on to those who need me. Are there any other moms reading? I feel so close to my family, like they are part of me, and I forget that they are sometimes "those who need me." I am thinking that God is going to send me to somebody outside of my usual everyday that needs me in some very obvious and meaningful way. But, the circumstances of the last few weeks remind me that my family needs me the most right now.
Let me be clear, there is a place for ambition and for growing my business. I know that. I look forward to that season too. I love that I have a business that I can pursue 100% when I am ready to do that, but in the meantime still allows me to bring in some income in the midst of whatever else is going on in my life. God will provide the opportunities I need to build.
I often feel guilty for not giving more energy to my business. As I dive further into these thoughts, I realize this feeling stems from anxiety that we won't have the income we need if I don't get to work. (God continues to provide again and again!) Or that my business will disappear if I don't push harder in it. But God graciously reminds me that He is in control and I am needed at home. He has closed some doors that I thought would spring my business forward. I know that he wants the best for me and He cares about my work, so I have no doubt that the season will come for it to blossom.
I better publish this now because it's been a week in the making--10 minutes here and there. I want to dive deeper into the heart of things, but that will have to wait until later. Along with the laundry, the dishes, the organizing, heck, even the shower! 😆 I wouldn't trade a minute of this hectic life for anything in the world!
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