I've plugged my ears with Hillsong United while I try to touch base with you. Big Boy is busy, but present and I am drawn into his conversation easily. However, if I stop and engage in every conversation, that's all I would do. Tell me there's someone else out there who has a chatty child. So, so chatty. I love it, but he insists that you respond to everything he says, so it can be a little demanding.
Fast-forward to this afternoon because Little Man woke up! Now, everyone is napping. What a precious time. I don't feel like I have some pressing message to focus on, but I find that something bubbles up while I am catching-up with you. Where is God speaking to me lately?
Well, I have to be one-hundred with all of you, (Did I use that correctly? Is that now outdated? Help me!) I have been thirsty for the Word of God lately. I have heard God directing me to the Bible again and again, but one thing would pop up and then another and I would just read the verse of the day from my Bible app and move on with the day. And, that hasn't been cutting it.
I used to wonder what it meant to be "thirsty." The metaphor didn't make sense to me. If I didn't read the Bible for days at a time, I didn't really notice any difference. But now, I guess because I've had enough time of consistently reading, I can better understand what it means. It's as if I forgot to drink throughout the day. It starts out small and I'm saying to myself, "I should get some water" and then after a while it gets to be where I'm feeling depleted, shriveled and thinking to myself, "I need to drink something!" When this happens, I just gulp down my water because I was so dry. I can feel it filling my cells and bringing my energy back. I am more comfortable, even in a better mood sometimes, depending on how thirsty I was. Here's what it looks like when I'm thirsty for God's word: I can be more and more consumed with the things in front of my face, I can be overly worried and anxious about things I know I shouldn't be, I can be very irritable and impatient, I can be devastated at the evil and hopelessness of this world and the people in it.
Since Chad's passing, I can be all of those things multiplied and then also sunk into the thought that all of this day-to-day is meaningless, monotonous, bland, sad. I have a quiet voice that speaks to me and says, patiently, "Get out your Bible. It doesn't matter where you start reading, just read. Pray." And, if I am honest--and I promise that I always will be--I don't always listen. Truthfully, I probably listen about half of the time. Okay, even that's generous. I am thankful that God is not tallying my obedience and weighing it against my disobedience. I would be doomed.
Most days I wake up knowing that I'm falling short. I'm reminded that I am not where I want to be when I talk to the kids the wrong way or make the same mistakes in all of the different areas of my life. Today, a gentle voice told me that God is not the one calling me out on these things. God is so full of love and mercy. I am His child and He will direct me and encourage me. He will not wear me down and remind me of all of my shortcomings. So, the voice that's doing those things should be ignored until it is no longer heard.
Are you thirsty? Do you know what it feels like to get the water that you need? What voices are we listening to without realizing it? I've allowed whatever voices pop into my head lately and haven't had the energy to counteract them. It's okay, each new day provides new energy and a new outlook. God allows us to wake up and try again every day.
Thank you, God, for your forgiveness, Your strength, Your power. Your Word. Thank you, most of all, for saving grace through Your Son, Jesus Christ.
Fast-forward to this afternoon because Little Man woke up! Now, everyone is napping. What a precious time. I don't feel like I have some pressing message to focus on, but I find that something bubbles up while I am catching-up with you. Where is God speaking to me lately?
Well, I have to be one-hundred with all of you, (Did I use that correctly? Is that now outdated? Help me!) I have been thirsty for the Word of God lately. I have heard God directing me to the Bible again and again, but one thing would pop up and then another and I would just read the verse of the day from my Bible app and move on with the day. And, that hasn't been cutting it.
I used to wonder what it meant to be "thirsty." The metaphor didn't make sense to me. If I didn't read the Bible for days at a time, I didn't really notice any difference. But now, I guess because I've had enough time of consistently reading, I can better understand what it means. It's as if I forgot to drink throughout the day. It starts out small and I'm saying to myself, "I should get some water" and then after a while it gets to be where I'm feeling depleted, shriveled and thinking to myself, "I need to drink something!" When this happens, I just gulp down my water because I was so dry. I can feel it filling my cells and bringing my energy back. I am more comfortable, even in a better mood sometimes, depending on how thirsty I was. Here's what it looks like when I'm thirsty for God's word: I can be more and more consumed with the things in front of my face, I can be overly worried and anxious about things I know I shouldn't be, I can be very irritable and impatient, I can be devastated at the evil and hopelessness of this world and the people in it.
Since Chad's passing, I can be all of those things multiplied and then also sunk into the thought that all of this day-to-day is meaningless, monotonous, bland, sad. I have a quiet voice that speaks to me and says, patiently, "Get out your Bible. It doesn't matter where you start reading, just read. Pray." And, if I am honest--and I promise that I always will be--I don't always listen. Truthfully, I probably listen about half of the time. Okay, even that's generous. I am thankful that God is not tallying my obedience and weighing it against my disobedience. I would be doomed.
Most days I wake up knowing that I'm falling short. I'm reminded that I am not where I want to be when I talk to the kids the wrong way or make the same mistakes in all of the different areas of my life. Today, a gentle voice told me that God is not the one calling me out on these things. God is so full of love and mercy. I am His child and He will direct me and encourage me. He will not wear me down and remind me of all of my shortcomings. So, the voice that's doing those things should be ignored until it is no longer heard.
Are you thirsty? Do you know what it feels like to get the water that you need? What voices are we listening to without realizing it? I've allowed whatever voices pop into my head lately and haven't had the energy to counteract them. It's okay, each new day provides new energy and a new outlook. God allows us to wake up and try again every day.
Thank you, God, for your forgiveness, Your strength, Your power. Your Word. Thank you, most of all, for saving grace through Your Son, Jesus Christ.
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